Date: May 02 2001 23:53:47 EDT
From: "The Damned News Letter" <>
Subject: The Damned Newsletter

Hi Ho and welcome again to the Damned Newsletter.

Last issue's opening paragraph had a trivia question embedded, and no one
guessed it. George Carlin was the man behind the banana guacamole.

Anyhow, not a GREAT deal of our OWN wrestling news.... but we went to a
show and have a bunch of fun stuff to talk about, as well as the usual
crap we hock at you in place of legitimate journalism.

Let's get to the silliness:

This issue:

Upcoming Dates
Word of the Issue
and more!!!!


Friday April 27th:

We travel down to Fraggle Rock, home of the one and only Mangina. When we
arrived, we headed out a little while later for the Elk's Lodge in Queens.
This was formerly the "House of Hardcore" for ECW. The wrestling show we
were attending was promoted by Ultimate Championship Wrestling, run by
"Hardcore" Jac Sabboth. Overall the show was entertaining and the workers
quite talented. Spencer sincerely loved the hot dogs!

On the show (Taken from their site

The show 'officially' starts off with an amazing high flying/technical
wrestling match. The match went back and forth until Divine got the upper
hand and beat Abunai. Divine continued to beat down Abuani after the match
was over until RED came out for the save. RED then went to shake Abuani's
hand but Abuani would have nothing of it.
Winner: DIVINE

Starz hit Brian with a big brain buster and then Brian hit a few high spot
moves on Frankie Starz including a shooting star press from the apron to
the outside of the ring. Then Prince Nana came out and took out both
Frankie Starz and Brian XL. Prince Nana gabbed the mic. and told the fans
he couldn't wait for to nobodies to wrestle while he waited for his
rematch against Tom Marquez.
Winner: THE FANS

Well, once again 'The Prodigy' Tom Marquez came out and answered Prince
Nana's challenge. Nana and Marquez had another back and forth, hard as
nails battle but once again, the last graduate of 'The House Of Hardcore",
Tom Marquez came out on top.
Winner: "The Prodigy" TOM MARQUEZ

UCW North Eastern Title Match:
Champion JOE MAXIMO vs. RED
Joe Maximo was originally scheduled to face 'G Street Mafia' member
SLEDGE, who couldn't be there because of the date change. So Maximo gave
the title shot to his good friend and tag-team partner RED. After an
amazing display of athleticism, Divine and then Abunai interfered. They
pounded on Maximo and Red until Mikey Whipwreck came out the save Maximo
and Red. Then Xavier, who had to face Whipwreck later that night for his
UCW World title, came out and attacked Mikey. The sides were even and they
battled for a few minutes. Xavier set up a table on the outside and put
Maximo on top of it. He got in the ring and did a springboard 450 splash
putting Maximo through the table. Xavier Divine and Abunai made their exit
and left Red and Whipwreck to tend to the injured Maximo.

It was a hard fought battle until the end when Stormin Normin came out of

After intermission Jac Sabboth came out to announce the next show when The
New Dynamite Kid's music hit and he comes out looking for his match. Jac
says ok here is who you are facing. Dynamite looks towards the entrance
way and Jac goes into the crowd and gets a chair. Jac turn Dynamite around
and shows him that HE is Dynamite's opponent.

Jac hits Dynamite in the head with a chair and then throws Dynamite to the
outside. Jac then throws him into the post. Dynamite is now busted open.
Jac gets 2 tables from under the ring and tells the UCW Security crew to
the stack them on top of each other and put Dynamite of top. Jac then went
up into the baloney and jumped off through the 2 tables with Dynamite on

Our next match was between G Street Mafia Member Kid Kruel w/The Man Bobby
G & Xtacee taking on Lighting Mike Quackenbush. Those of you who know
these 2 guys know that this was a real wrestling classic. Both Bobby G and
Xtacee interfered in the match at one point, helping Kruel defeat

(The G Street Mafia kept an unusually low profile during this show.
Perhaps it was because of the absence of their own personal monster
Sledge, or are they planning something for the next show?)

Next up was the final chapter of The Natural Born Killers. Boogalou came
to the ring with his new manager, Little Psycho. The match went back and
forth until Little Psycho set up a table in the corner and Buggalu-lu went
to put Damian through the table but missed. Buggalu-lu beat Damian with
the "Wig Splitter" and after the match put Damian through the table for
good measure. Low Rider then came out from the back looking like he was
saving Damian but sided with Boogalou and Little Psycho.

Jac Sabboth then came out to see it Damian was ok. Damian then told the
crowd that when no one had his back or wanted to give him a chance, Jac
Sabboth did. Damian wanted to thank him for that and also wanted to thank
all the Hardcore UCW fans for coming out and supporting UCW!

Three Corners First Pin Match:
This match was a brawl all around the Elks Lodge. Doring and Roadkill came
out on top. After the match Angel and Homicide fought about whose fault it
was and The Hit Squad came to Homicide's aid and Angel bailed out of the

UCW World & North Eastern Title Match:
Mikey Whipwreck and RED came and said that they wanted revenge for what
Xavier and Divine did to Maximo earlier. Mikey and Red were gonna put up
Maximo's North Eastern Title against Xavier and Divine. If Xavier or
Divine pin either Red or Mikey then one of them become the North Eastern
Champion and if Red of Mikey pin Xavier or Divine then they become World
Champion. The match began..... Both teams gave it there all with a mix of
high flying and amazing wrestling. Mikey hit Xavier with the
Whippersnapper and then got RED and covered Xavier making RED the new UCW
World Champion. After the match the locker room cleared to celebrate with
New UCW World Champion: RED

We knew quite a bit of the roster, so it was fun to sit back and watch a
show. The guys worked their asses off big time. I was impressed by much of
what I saw, especially the black guy dancing up in the balcony... The DJ
sucked a FATTY!!!!

After talking with the guys we knew, and to Sabboth (trying to possibly
get the Damned to UCW), we headed out. On the walk back, Draven and I had
an impromptu brawl with me taking a big whip into a steel fence. The
Fraggle interfered and got bieled onto a parked car, which alerted the
neighborhood of our wrong-doing with its alarm. We beat feet to the Money
Twuck and took off to Mulcahey's to see the Zoo. En Route, we got stuck on
the Long Island Expressway. The traffic was not moving well, so I
combatted it as best I could... I cranked up the music and hopped out into
the street and began dancing (cause Draven said I wouldn't).

The Zoo recently won MTV's top cover band award. We settle into the
awesome bar and start to do shots. Randy, the singer came over and did a
shot with us. On stage, he sent out mad props "To the Pennsylvania
Wrestling Federation Tag Champs The Damned!!! Even trying to keep a low
profile, the Damned get the heat (LOL).

We hit a late night diner and then headed home for a late night Jam
Session at the ROCK.


Saturday April 28th: Basic Party at the Rock... nothing too special...
but Draven and I jammed on guitar and bass til well into the early hours
of the morning..


Sunday April 29th:

We rush our asses home to get our gear for the Power League Wrestling show
at Cranston East High School. The benefit show for a little boy with
leukemia was set for 4 PM. We got there in time to film vignettes/promos
for the "crowd". Unfortunately, no one really showed. at the peak of the
show there may have been 40 people there... but they weren't there all

On the show:

Don Juan de Santo & Mad Dog def. World Champion Dr. Heresy & Adam Booker

Lightweight Title Match
Lightweight Champion Kid Krazy def. Frankie Armadillo

Tag Team Title Match
Tag Team Champions E.o.S. def. Portuguese Stallion & "TnT" Terry Thomas

Second Round of the New England Title Tournament
"Heavenly" Johnny Angel def. Damian Houston
Chris Blackheart def. Chris Venom

Moco & Pacifico def. Triplelicious & Tim Kilgore w/ JC Marx and Maniacal

"Punisher" Don Vega def. Gino Giovanni

"Nightmare" Nick Steel def. Draven

Okay, you read those results correctly. I teamed with Don Juan and Draven
worked singles. Here is the deal. We filmed a vignette just entering the
building where I got jumped by Booker, Heresy, and Steel. They worked me
over (on take four..... seeing as on the first take Heresy and I had a
laughing fit... the second Heresy a "cat in theee hat" and third Heresy's
pis stunk.) On the final take, Teery Thomas' ass made a cameo. Anyhow,
the angle said that Heresy could pick Don Juan's partner for the night.

After jumping me, Heresy chose me. Draven filmed a promo challenging Steel
to a match. Heresy interfered causing Draven to get pinned. In the main, I
worked witha leg brace on, getting the hot tag and cleaning house. Don
Juan and I won the match following a "Mind Bomb" on Heresy (Don Juan Bomb
intoa diamond-cutter). Don Juan gets the heavyweight title match at Power
Fest next month now.

Over all, working in front on a handful of people was pretty tough and not
that inspiring, but we worked to give them the show they paid for.
Afterwards, Draven and I headed to Sonny D's house to watch Backlash. The
highlight in my opinion was Rhyno vs. Raven.

My biggest compliment was Joey Gadrow asking if my injury was legitimate...


Monday Night, we headed to Curry College to see our good friend Mike in
one of his final performances in college theater. He was the comic lead
"Malevolio" in Twelfth Night. The show was really good... and he was
hilarious. At one point, he had us DYING !!!

Afterwards, we went to Dick's Last Resort" in Boston. This is a place
where the waitstaff is MEGA Rude. It rules... I even bought a "DICK U"
shirt. Hella Sweet!!


Damned Training Camp Update: Things are going really well. All of the
guys are showing mad progress in there!!! Mail us at
for info.

Congrats to the former and current Chop Fest Battle Royal champs Pacifico
and Triplelicious.


Draven's Commentary:

Draven Comments on……..Traffic and Toll Booths

It seems like a curse to me! Every time we hit the road lately with
somewhere to go, a place to be, or a deadline to meet…traffic decides to
back up. Now if It were traffic caused by an accident, on my side ofthe
road, I could understand it. However, that’s not the case.

Picture this, interstate 95, Jersey/NY border….we’re making good time
home. We flew up the Jersey turnpike, it’s the first nice night so far…so
the windows are down and the music is loud. We decide to take a quick
break at the Lombardi Service area because we’re making such good time.

Finally after putting down some milk n Mini Donuts….and seeing a Fraggle
looking object attempt to destroy a Porta-John, we hit the road. We get
about ¼ mile down the highway and biggity-bam….there’s the traffic. From
what we can tell miles of it…..what the hells’ causing it? We’re only 5
miles from NY? Well, we sit there, watching people get agitated with the
lack of movement. We overhear someone talking about a pothead guitar
playing friend of theirs leaving them to hang with other friends and then
still expecting a ride home. They did get even with him though, they
kicked his tires after making him watch one of them dance on the
L.I.E….Man they got him back huh?

Anyway, traffic starts moving along again and we finally think it’s going
to break, by now I’m annoyed. One thing I absolutely abhor is needless
traffic. Ya know, the kind where ya sit for almost an hour then it clears
up for no reason ….Once again we were wrong. We went about ½ mile, came
around a turn and there was the traffic again.

Anyhow, to get to the point, we literally sat in traffic for 2 ½ hours,
only traveling a grand total of 4 miles. Just so we could pay 6 dollars to
cross the GW Bridge in NY. TO me that’s ridiculous, not only do they raise
the price from 4 to 6 dollars, but they cause a 6 mile , 2 hour backup
because of it. Suggestion.....If traffic backs up more than a mile and
1/2 let some frickin people through! Are the people running NY too moronic
to figure that out?? Or are thay all just a buncha half but puppets?

Well there’s my rant on how toll booths in the state of NY suck ass. I
kept it rather clean for the kiddies who are reading this newsletter. SO
I’m Audi for now yo! Until next time….Check out the movie Orgasmo, better
than advertised…..and I’d like to throw a special shout out to our Buddy
Mangina!!!!! Later peeps!


Mad Dog's Commentary:

I'm all about road trips. I'm all about travelling. I'm all about the
wind in my hair and the fire in my face. I am NOT all about sitting for an
hour or more, not moving due to traffic jams. I literally have an arm
peeling from the burn I got in the sun waiting for traffic to move. So for
this issue I will randomly throw some of the more interesting incidents
that held us up for at least an hour on our trips.

1) Coming home from EWA. Car accident, we are 3 cars back. Requires an
Airlift out of the area. YES... A Chopper landed on the road in front of

2) Heading UP to EWA, Tractor-trailer truck jackknifes. Lose cloe to 2

3) Heading to IWA, same reason as above. Lose roughly an hour.

4) Heading to IWA, A Street Sweeper rolls or SOMETHING, totalling it.
Makes us lose nearly 2 hours in traffic.

5) Heading to Fraggle Rock, a car rolls on 95 in NY causing them to close
down the ENTIRE section of 95 South... and rerouting us down one lane side
roads. Time of delay: 1 1/2 hours.

There are many more to name. I think what is MORE frustrating is when you
sit in traffic that is not moving, only to find there is no credible
reason for it. You're crawling, suddenly the road opens up and you are
flowing again.

Now on to the bastard toll booths. What the hell is up with PAYING to sit
in traffic for 20 minutes + ???? We hit 2 1/2 hours for the George
Washington Bridge. The bastards had the nerve to raise the already
disgustingly high toll from 4 bucks to 6 dollars. The first time we passed
through, when I kindly asked the lady behind the booth for an explanation
to the hike in toll, I received a bitchy attitude. Speaking of which,
why do all these toll collecters insist on being null and void in
personality. They are collecting OUR hard-earned money to "allow" us to
drive on roads we should be able to anyhow. Why give me an attitude? Why
not say THANK YOU when I pay... How about "Have a safe trip" or maybe

Anyhow... When you all hit the roads... Please drive safely, but don't
drive to where you CAUSE traffic behind you... And stay outta my lane.


Upcoming Dates where you can be Damned:

Where you can Be Damned in the Upcoming Months:

Thursday May 10: PWF at the Sunnybrook Ballroom in Pottstown, PA.
***We defend the PWF Tags Straps against the Backseat Boyz and the SAT***

Friday May 11: EWA at the Stevens Ave Armory in Portland, ME
*** Versus Kildevil and Frankie Armadillo***

Saturday May 12: TBA... 2 Shows at the High School in Natick, MA

Sunday May 20th: PLW's Power Fest at St. Raphael's School, Pawtucket RI

Friday May 25th: IWA at the Riverside Bene Hall in Reading, PA

Sunday May 27th: NCW in Natick, MA.

for more info visit the following websites:


Origination of this usage: ICP

Use: to tell someone to "FAH KOOF!!!"

Ex 1: You work at a Taco Land... No matter how many times you tell the
guy you don't serve Chilitos, he insists... you eventually tell him to

Ex 2: Your buddy is critisizing you for still hooking up with your dead
girlfriend. You can take him on Springer, or you can tell him to "Fahkoof!"

Ex 3: When placing a collect call... have it only say... "YOu have a
collect call from "Fahkoof"!!

There is your new word.... use it wisely young jedi!

Tapes of the Damned:
To see the exclusive Best of the Damned Volume One:
Mail Bill Walkowitz about this and many other great tapes.

To check out the most recent Eastern Wrestling Alliance shows with all of
the Damned's matches as well as a new NCW tape featuring many of the
athletes currently training with The Damned (like Chris Venom, Tim
Kilgore, Tripleicious and more):

To see The Damned versus Mind & Matter from the UWF Benefit show OR any of
the events from Intercontinental Wrestling Alliance and the Pennsylvania
Wrestling Federation:

Also you can get tapes of the Damned in PWF from:


Also, the Damned Newsletter now appears on the Wrestling SlamMasters
webpage as a column. CHECK it out in your mail, OR on the following page:


Finally for the Website of the Week:

The official online site of The first Triple Crown winner in ECW, Mikey
Whipwreck. The man who started as the world's biggest underdog in ECW, and
became a huge favorite of the fans, is online... Check out his site.

Best of the Damned vol 2 has begun pre-production. It should be fun as
hell to watch!!!! More planning is being done on the comic book... Our
friend "Tragedy" may be teaming with Draven to do the work on this book.
If it comes to fruition... I'm marking out!!!

See you peeps later!

W-Huh? HUH?? HUH HUH!!!!

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