When it comes crapping down and it squirts inside,
You gotta drop a leg, your new tights are fried.
Well you shit your pants, there's no need to hide.
Just drop a few more legs, and let that brown stuff slide!

I am a Fe-cal American
Pooped my pants and sat on a man.
I'm a Fe-cal American
That stuff came right outta my can.

Well I feel strong about right and wrong,
and these tights won't stay white for very long.
I got this bug inside of me...
Diarrhea just made my bowels free

I am a Fe-cal American
Langer knew I shit, said do it again
I am a Fe-cal American
Undies were white, were cleaned by my wife